|
|
Romance at Peradeniya
was a significant part of the Campus life and I am sure it still is today. To
most it was a natural progression from the everyday events such as doing
laboratory work together, being seated next to each other at the lecture
theatres. For others it began from a chance meeting at a hall social, at the
library, at the docs, on the playing fields or for some even at the annual Pirith ceremony.
For some the spark was immediate and mutual,
yet for others it was at first one sided. For the later group the first
approach to the girl often seemed an insurmountable obstacle. They would go
through hours of agony rehearsing what to say only to say the opposite when
opportunity arose. Few have even succumbed to having an affair which has
begun and ended entirely in the person’s mind, Mano Gahala, with
the girl in question being completely oblivious to the agony and ecstasy of
her suitor. Rumour has it that one such fellow had
been affected by this malaise and continued for awhile between reality and
imagination. At a hall social, fortified with a drink or two, he finally took
courage and asked her “Does your father know about us?”. When girl retorted in alarm “What can my father know,
when even I do not?” he was
immediately cured. Thatha thiya
mamawath danne ne
For these desperate guys who had a particular girl in mind and could see no
way of declaring their intent, the campus folklore provided some well known
templates or proven methods. One such method was to take a direct approach
with a fall back smart quip held in reserve. This method recommended that you
approach the girl directly and sing her praises, declare your undying
feelings for her, in short lay it thick and observe her reaction. If a favourable response was forthcoming you went along and
lived happily ever after. If the reaction was one of horror, disbelief and
ridicule, with feigned surprise you immediately resorted to the suggestion
that she is so serious that she cannot even take a joke. Ane
oyata vihulawak wath therenne na ne
Another method was an approach when a new batch Aluth
Nave, had arrived and a suitable candidate had been
identified. This method was effective only if it was applied within the first
two weeks of the new academic year. It required the suitor to recruit the
help of his batch and hall mates, the more severe the demeanour
of the friends they could summon, the better the chance of success. The
motley crew was then given detailed instruction to accost the girl and her
friends on their way to the hall of residence and to confront them with the
threat of a boisterous rag. Just when things appeared to be getting out of
hand, the suitor would breeze in and by his apparent commanding personality
would disperse the villains and rescue the damsel in distress with her
friends. He would then agree to accompany them to the hall and generously
extends his protection to accompany them thereafter on every occasion they
need to go out. However he needed to act swiftly and relied on the state of
play being irreversible by the time the girl realised
that the most fearsome rowdy in the ragging escapade was the suitor’s
own roommate.
Getting hitched by proxy was another method employed by some who were
sensitive to being rebuffed by the other party. On the particular occasion
that I recall, the boy and the girl were quite persuaded that there was a
certain something in the air between them. However neither could be too sure
whether they were interpreting the signals accurately. The boy in this
particular case was wary of making a direct approach because two others
before him had also thought they had read the signals correctly, only to find
to their chagrin that they had misread them. The boy, being a cautious
fellow, took the proxy approach and confessed to his friend of his interest.
The girl in turn also did the same to her friend. Both the boy and the girl
knew well that their friends were quite close themselves. When the two
friends were next by themselves, they carefully broached the subject and were
delighted when they found out that the feelings of their friends towards each
other were mutual. Whereupon they immediately felt empowered enough to declare
their friends hitched without further ado. By the time the news that they
were hitched reached the boy and the girl, more than half their batch mates
had already received the news and plans for a hitch party were well underway.
Among these methods the most innovative I would term the Warne method. I must
immediately declare that this has nothing to do with a certain desperate and
tragic suitor well known for his googlies in
playing fields of one kind or another. As such this is not a method linked to
text messaging. Our Warne found the girl of his dreams and having failed to
gain her attention despite employing every known ruse at the time, devised
his own unique method. He furtively hid behind a tree or a pillar at dusk and
when the subject of his attention passed by, he would shout loud as ever. “Ah! Ha! You have been able to get hold of that wonderful fellow
Warne, tipped to get a first class”. The girl at first ignored it, thinking
it was not directed at her but then even her name was sometimes mentioned and
the insinuations increased in volume and frequency. After each of these
screaming episodes, on the morning after Warne would appear looking quite
innocent and smile serenely with the discomfited girl. With each passing day,
in her guilt laden state, she would anticipate meeting Warne with a quickened
pulse and soon would even look forward to meeting him. When Warne finally
acted upon his resolve and spoke to the girl presumably in a hoarse voice I
might add, the battle had already been won. He even managed to reassure the
girl not take the utterings of such hooligans to
heart and advised her that they should stick together as victims of unfair
abuse. Unfortunately, Warne was the first and perhaps the only person to use
this inspired method with success. The story was so often retold with much
admiration that it became well known at the time in the campus even among the
girls. As a result whenever someone desperate enough tried to replicate it,
he was immediately found out and accused of trying to be Warne.
This is a perspective from the male of the species during the late 60’ and early ‘70s. No reliable evidence was found of an initial
approach being made from the female. I suspect that it did occur but when it
did, it
was so well disguised and in the end contrived to appear as though the
approach had always originated the other way around. To the youth of today
such goings on would perhaps seem rather quaint or even absurd. However most
of us would wistfully recall those delightful days when subtlety and nuance
had as much import as substance, in the affairs of the heart.
Gamini de Alwis - 28th
May 2005
|