The Biggest Loser

BL’s modus operandi was to identify his love interest and observe her movements for a couple of weeks. He would get to know what lectures she attended; what time she usually went to and returned from the library and similar things. When BL had all of the required information he would accidentally walk past his love interest, turn around and in a very shy manner ask her, “are you in Professor DG’s Econ. class?” His love interest would answer in the affirmative.

BL would then ask his love interest whether she knew that Professor D G’s lecture scheduled for that afternoon was cancelled. Of course, this was totally false. His love interest would reply that the lecture was not cancelled. BL would insist that the lecture was cancelled.

If all went to plan BL would say to his love interest, “if you are so sure, then take a bet that it is not cancelled”’. His love interest, unable to resist the temptation of winning a bet, would inevitably agree to take the bet. Before his love interest could change her mind or utter another word, BL would say, “O K, the loser of the bet has to do all the reference work on the topic covered in the next Econ. lecture and make complete notes for the winner”.

The whole idea was to lose the bet.

Losing the bet meant that BL would have reason to meet up with his love interest in the library or pillaring area within the next few days. He did not mind pouring over boring texts and reproducing chunks of material in as neat and as small handwriting as possible. Those were the days sans computers, the internet and Google. But nevertheless, those were the days!

Once BL had got this far it was a matter of time before he would lose a few more bets. The loss of these bets would usually involve having to, “go very early to the Library and reserve a Reference Book for his love interest” or, “to stand his love interest a Portello at the canteen”. If the responses from BL’s love interest were favourable, the ultimate bet to lose was, “a trip to town on the bus and a matinee show at the Regal Cinema Kandy”.

Once B L had reached this high point there was nothing more to lose. As Confucius would have said if he was at Peradeniya at the time, “not everyone who loses is a Loser”.

Earl Forbes

17^th July 2008